laugh

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable foods and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I … Read more

I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.